The most valuable lesson I have learned is that the most meaningful journey is the inner journey.

Giving Your Compassion a Boundary

Protect your peace without compromising your kindness and empathy

Jean Edelman: Great to be here with you this week. This week, I want to talk about self-protection from the chronic complainer. I’ve been talking about our moods and our food and our self-talk, and we can control a lot of that. But sometimes we encounter people and situations in our life where there’s negativity, where there’s people that just want to dump their stuff. And we are usually kind individuals and we don’t want to upset them. But life is about our journey and taking care of ourselves. And this means protection from environmental negativity or people that are negative.

So I want to talk about some tips and kind of remind us about our self-care toolbox for when we are confronted by these situations or people. This toolbox is ever evolving. And if we can remember to be an observer, we can get through a lot of situations a whole lot easier. So, my first thought is to be the observer and see the situation as the person looking for connection. A lot of times people share to be known and to be seen and their complaining or their drama is their opportunity. And so sit back, observe and see if you can recognize that in the person or situation.

Second is we’re in charge of our emotional reactions. Sometimes in these situations. They want the reaction from us, but if we remain the observer, cool, calm, and collected, and we don’t react, I’ll bet you that they go in search of someone who will.
The third is for empathy. Yes, it is good to empathize with others or for others, but we don’t want to get tangled in their web. We don’t have to share the drama that they are stirring up.

The fourth is don’t waste life energy trying to help. Most times the individual or the situation is not interested in solutions. They’re stuck in their own life-loop and we don’t have to get pulled in.

The fifth is to set a verbal boundary. If they are indeed the broken record that I’m sure that they are, we can say, oh, well, we’ve heard this story before. Seems like you might be seeking to find a solution. See what they say.

The sixth is to make a shift, a physical shift, change the subject, pull others into the conversation.

Seven is to take a break, remove ourselves from the conversation, walk into another room, go get a drink, go get some food – physically break away from them.

And while we’re standing there observing and smiling and listening and nodding and not getting pulled into the drama, mentally, we could send them positive pictures of love or a bouquet of flowers because I’m sure they’re hurting somewhere deep inside, but the only way that they need to show it or share it is with drama and complaining.

The ninth and last tip is to clean our own slate. When we are exposed to negative situations or people, we literally need to cleanse ourselves after this exposure. So we can walk outside, we can go get fresh air, we can energetically brush ourselves, we can go physically take a shower. We can use our tapping method, the emotional freedom tapping technique I’ve showed you, we don’t want to hold on to any of this energy from them. And so it’s really important to clear our slate.

And so the action item for the week is to be aware because self-protection is about being an observer. When we’re about to enter a situation, pull out our toolbox and be ready.

So my word of the week is Self.

The S is to See. See people for who and what they are. Some will never change. Just smile, nod, and move on.

The E is for Elevate. The goal is to not be dragged down by these situations. We need to stay in the clouds and not get pulled in. Smile and sing a happy song to ourselves while they’re talking.

The L is for Love. To love ourselves, love ourselves enough to set boundaries and avoid as much as possible these situations.

And the F is for Fun. Turn the conversation, bring in some laughter, some joy. We might even help those involved see things in a different light and maybe they’re not as bad as they seem.

Taking care of ourselves physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually is so important. And so I wish you all a wonderful, happy, healthy week.

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